| 2008 |
[ Dec 26th, 07 ] |
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music |
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&&UHH MY GF GOTTA GF`* |
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SCHOOL
so I didn't do that well my first semester of college, I ended up with a 2.154:
English 101 - F
Spanish 201 - B
Math 060- A
Biology 101 - C
Gay as shit right? So I have to retake english 101. My Major is Spanish so Im not toooo worried about my Spanish grade but I expected an A. =/ oh well, Next friday Im off to cuernavaca, Mexico for my winter semester. Gunna be the shiiiit! lol.. im pretty excited, but I have to remain focuseddd. I think I want to be a Spanish teacher, Or translator.. it could work .. I need to keep it movin. lol.
LOVE
lol, so sam imed me tonight out of absolutely no where, asking me what i thought of us... its been like 2 years right, && im all like oh shit. is this man serious like, lol i will always have a place for him in my heart. then all of a sudden hes like ,, wanna have a 3some?? uhh, lol .....nahhhhh!!
Walden& are whatever, its like hes not what I want, but hes trying && I do think thats kind of cute .., he sent me this text message today it was like .. "If the past hurts you& the future scares you then look beside you becauset I'll always be there " .. it was niceee =) I dno though like thats not what Im looking for. I don't want to take a chance and just be whatever. I don't know.
I think I have the hotts for mustafa.
Ryans cute, but never again.
$$$$$$$$$
Im doing okay, I need to see what my finances are like, but between christmas & work I think Im steady. I want to get a new car in March& a laptop in February, well see what happens.
FAMILY
There could always be a stronger bond between my family and I but I love them and they know that. I am guilty of not showing how much I love them& I know that I am going to regret that in the future. =/ there goo though. its christmas. 2008 is in 5 days. =)
LIFE
I see big changes in 2008. But only if I want it to happen. Its my choice,Its my life, what will I do?
Goals / Resolutions
1. Quit Smoking Weed
2. Buy a New car
3. Achieve associates in Secondary Education / International Business by 2009.
4. Register to Vote
5. Sky Dive
6. Be financially stable .... seriously!
**May be revised habitually.
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| lifeee |
[ Nov 14th, 07 ] |
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mood |
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lovely |
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music |
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i want you : common |
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Wow its been almost 3 months since my last entry. Not too bad , life has had its ups& downs but its whatever. I'm not sweating it. thats life, it throws curveballs you must no how to hit them or dodge them. ANyways school has been going pretty well Ive met in particular 2 guys that i chill with on the daily, there so sweet. One of the guys i hooked up with like the first day i met him and ever since then weve just been really good friends, he wants to take shit to the next level but well see where it all goes .. anyways, you know my structure :
school
Its going okay, i think im failing to of my classes, english& bio. which kind is kind of depressing =/
uhh what else, i have an A in spanish & math which is good and im picking my classes for the spring.
Ill be going to mexico in january for the winter semester for my spnaish 202 credit.
I want to major in either secondary education-spanish or international business... i was thinking abt a double major
could be fun ;)
Ill have to look into online classes because I dont know if Im going to HCC next year.
work
so i got a new job, i quit cheeburger after a certain mishap with a fellow employee. long story shot she called me out of my name and i told her I would hospitalize her. Soon after I quit. Word on the street is they wouldve taken me back though, which I kind of regret because I did like that job. alot. But im working at a new restaurant now part time. which is cool, i dont really do anything there either. And I work at my best friends old job on friday and saturday nights =) tight as shit. im trying to make as much money as possible because im so broke right now its not even a joke.
love
fuck that shit, nothing new so far, im currently talking to someone who wants to be with me but i wont let myself go so were discussing why, oddly enough I feel comfortable talking to him about , which is kind of weird. but whatever. i dont want to be in a relationship i dont want to commit, im having too much fun being single and just seeing whats out there, i dont want to have to answer to someone, and have to censor my actions because my "boyfriend" wont approve , fuck that i dont even do that for my parents, i dno were taking it slow so well see what happens =)
family
their good i guess, everything for the most part is back to normal, i havent sen my brother in a few weeks but i talk to them almost everyday, my mom still drives me insane& my dad is still there when hes there. their living their lives im living mine.
** the certain someone that im talking about in the love category, has been discussing plans on moving out. so were looking into getting a place together, him and his brother and me. id like another girl in the house but that might be to much estrogen so fuck that shit, hmm lol i dno need to get my own place..so im either moving february when i come back from mexico or in the fall if i dont go to college, but i can stand living where i am anymore, too much stress and not enough space. maybe ill find some real good roomates =) i want to take my brother with me but hes not ready to leave yet =/
*overall you know the saying, doing me .. staying up. =) holler at me baby .. maybe another entry in a few months .. haha!
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| recently =) |
[ Sep 16th, 07 ] |
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mood |
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i feel like im living life =) |
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music |
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something that makes you want to danceee!!* |
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<b><u>SCHOOL</b></u>
i love it. every single bit. from the classes to the times. Its an entirely different ball field and at this point Im not bored with it yet.
Monday: 11am-11:52 - biology 530pm-730 - spanish
Tuesday: 8am-9:20 - english am-10:52 - math work
Wednesday: 8am - 11:00- bio lab 11am- 11:52: - biology 530pm - 7:30 - spanish
Thursday: 8am - 9:20 - english 10am - 10:52 - math work
Friday: 11am - 11:52 - biology work
Not to shabby ;)
<b><u>FAMILIA</u></b>
uhhh, lovee them. theyre the shit... ups& downs set aside theyre your family. blood. you HAVE TO love them. =)
<b><u>SOBRE MI AMORES</b></u>
they all have different reasons as to why im attracted to them, for different reasons, When it comes down to it I know who I would pick, I just dont think he would feel the same way. I'm completely okay with that surprisingly ... I like how things are between us.
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| ay bay bay |
[ Jul 13th, 07 ] |
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mood |
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 sleepy |
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music |
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int'l players anthem |
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well these past few weeks life has certainly had its ups and down
....
fuck dave once again, but im serious this time.
Ive have tried being nice to that kid over and over again, my mom even went and talked to him and everything was all good, but he's a fucking asshole he completely disrespected me& im done with it. All I can do at this point is pray for him, and hope that he changes. But the other night I seriously was ready to kill him, literally. of course under the influence decisions are a bit hazy, but you know what I don't need to voluntarily allow someone to disrespect me, ha! But anyways, ryan and i fucked .. && now he's like well, he caught feelings. all my friends say he's my bitch because he will do ANYTHING for me. it's crazy, I don't know Ive never really been in a relationship where I didn't catch feelings or have some kind of emotional attachment, I feel like the dude in this situation, and its kind of annoying to have bitches on your dick. It's all good though ma, haha and then of course theirs dre, we hooked up during sr week and ever since then its been an all out freakfest, thats some good gushyyyy. haha, it got pretty nasty the other night, im sorry but im such a fuckin tease when I want to be, Im just starting to realize that i am a woman and i can use myself to my advantage. I just have to learn how to do it the right way and stay classy =) I think im doin alright so far. But yeah other than that im just chillen, i met this guy jeremy earlier this week and hes tryna wife me and shit, great ..hes a cutie though im gunna be chillen w him this weekend i think so thatll be exciting =) but other then that im just chillen doin me all day, im gettin more hours and i just went up to school today to get my schedule straightened out for the fall, theres a few more classes i wanna take but over all my happy w my selections. Anyways, im out ... sleep work pimpin
haha,
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[ Jun 21st, 07 ] |
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mood |
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sleepy |
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big girls dont cry : fergie |
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Hey guys,
So , I went back to work this week. That was fun. It feels good being able to make money again, and oh yeah I quit Together. But my boss said that I'll always have a job there, so Im glad that ended on good terms. But as far as friends go, I mean I have 2 months before my I have to start my life. Where do I want to leave off, and where do I want to begin? I havent seen or spoken to Dave since the last time I saw him, so that's good, I think with time I really did get over him, I still think about him often, and wonder if he still thinks of me. But I'm over it. Theres actually this new guy, Ryan. I went to middle school with him, and chill with his brothers, but I just saw him a few days ago, He's still cute =) , he has a few things goin on right now in his life, and honestly Im not sure if I want to get myself involved with that. I mean it's summer I have the right to be single and just chill with whoever, and do whatever. I can explain to him that we can be "together" without so much the bf/gf title, wait dating. I mean I don't neccesarily want to be tied down, why start a relationship right when big changes are going to happen? Whatever well see what happens, but he's a real sweetheart, and he compliments me , always calling me beautiful =) He's a real gentleman. I'm definetly going to keep my guard up though, don't get attached to quick, I mean he just recently got out of a relationship too, and Im sure theres going to be exgf drama. But whatever
Katie moved out of her moms house, so she's living on her own..it's weird now though, like I don't know .. she's doing her though so =)
It's all good.
My aunt died last weekend, the friday I was down during Sr Week. We were tight& I loved her.
R.I.P. Jill Elaine Carter ♥
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| shit happens? |
[ Jun 12th, 07 ] |
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mood |
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ehh |
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music |
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umbrella |
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well i was right , danielle fucked him.
I knew the whole time& i really was trying to give her the benefit of the doubt and trust her word. I mean it's fucked up, all the way around, but its not the fact that she actually did it that gets me .. its more she straight lied to my face about it. And then when she told me .. she e-mailed me about it. I mean atleast be woman enough to call me or tell me to my face. Whatever, shits gay but were definetly done. I don't need people like that in my life. And as far as dave
FUCK HIM.
he is seriously on some other shit.
He thinks he's fucking with my head& that shit is hilarious
he's pathetic.
Whatever, life is what you make it.
& it sucks thats where they set the bar.
Im getting over it, but I wont lie. This shit does hurt.
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| wow |
[ Jun 9th, 07 ] |
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mood |
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 nostalgic |
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music |
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James Blunt |
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Well kids sr week is over, and my transition between adolesence and adulthood is starting. Graduation was last thursday and its crazy because it doesnt even seem like ive graduated. It hasn't hit me i guess yet? Well anyways sr week was fucking insane. lots of drama, lies, lust, all that great shit but overall it was relaxing i should say. Alot of shit went on thats going to affect alot of future relationships i have with people for one. Im done with Danielle, and now that sr week is over im not really obligated to be around her for whatever reason. Dave was down there and that was really gay, that kid fucks with my head, just for the pure amusement of watching me bust a nut. I think hes trying to get with Danielle, and Im just pissed about it like , if your supposed to be my best friend how the fuck are you gunna try and get with someone you watched me build a relationship with. Whatever people are so fickle and desperatley seek attention for what may i ask?! Who knows, but Im not fucking with so many people. Times are a changin' and the change starts .... now.
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| damn |
[ May 30th, 07 ] |
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mood |
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DJFAIDA;FJIEA |
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music |
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PWT :I REALLY DONT LIKE YOU |
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sometimes shit comes down on you all at once, its the point where you cant take anymore and your at your breaking point .. and the worst part about it is there really is no one you can lean on to for support. You really dont think people understand or can even remotely relate to what your going through. You keep your head up and tell yourself, its just a part of life youll be alright in the end, ... and yeah that maybe true , but at the time IT FUCKIN HURTS. its the worst imaginable pain you could ever go through& you have to live with it daily until it goes away, time is the only thing that will make a pain like that fade. You try to smile, and keep your head up so that everyone else will know your alright but your not. You say your over it but your not.
I really liked this kid, i guess i was pressed && for him to straight up, i dno.. act like there was nothing there .. thats fuckin unbelievable, and it hurts everyday .. and im trying to fill the void but no one can take up that space. Im pressed im on your dick, say what you will.. but i really thought highly of you, its time like these where i wished id never met you, or wed never started talkin'... that emotional tip really will fuck you, and i honestly cant sit up here and be friends with you& act like everythings okay.. cause its not.
i mean im sure even you were surprised to see me im'ing you askin how your day went. And im not going to beg, or ask how it came to this, because i honestly dont think i want to know. Im trying to move on but damn. that shit hurts. I just wanna know how your so fucking okay with this. I mean you dont think about me, do you have any idea that you broke my heart?
I partially blame myself , because i knew better.. I knew youd do this and i let it happen anyway because i thought you were better then that, i really thought you were a quality guy. And i mean i dont know how im going to act when i see you with other girls, or see you spitting your game or whatever, ill be pissed knowing that you once did that shit to me. And i pray for that girls sake, you dont hurt her the same way you hurt me.
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[ May 29th, 07 ] |
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mood |
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 content |
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music |
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irreplaceable |
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Dave,
Theres alot I wanted to say to you, but I didn't think it mattered to you. I want to get it off my chest so you know where I'm coming from.
Even though things turned out the way they did , the last 3 months were good& i wouldnt trade them for anything. They were apart of life and you taught me how I should be treated. I don't really understand how you could come off the way you did, and I wish you didn't lead me on. I guess thats what really hurt me the most. I was under the impression that there was something between us , and having sex definetly fucked everything up. It sucks we cant even be friends, I mean I honestly can't allow that .. it would show I have no respect for myself. But in due time I'm sure things will work out. You were right .. all that stuff you said about me, I am beatiful, I have looks, personality, intelligence and I think it's stupid that you threw all that away, but Im glad that you did. I now have the oppurtunity to really get out there and find someone who really does deserve me. One day you'll look back and realize what you lost, But I thank you for the exhilaration. You gave me a glimpse of what a relationship and love is all about. This will be an experience that I will always remember, and regard it without hesitations, what if's or regrets.
-Love, Jordan
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| FDAFJKDALF;JAF |
[ May 28th, 07 ] |
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mood |
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FKGSLJFS; |
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music |
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HOT HOT HEAT |
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sometimes people do thinks for the hell of it. wether it be, well i dont know. but that shits gay
Dave and I are .. i dno, hes out .. we fucked and nows its like whatever .. supposedly he told my best friend that he just wanted to be friends whatever he doesnt wanna be tied down this & that .. and he doesnt want me to be pressed about it. wow .. this kid definetly reminds me of dean.
well whatever, i wanna hear that from him - i mean i knew this was going to happen but i tried to remain optimistic about it. dont cry over spilt milk.. clean it it up and get another glass ;)
i know weird entry - maybe something better later on.
edit ;
JaCk of SpAdeZ 4: di u go to work
J iS FOR JUiiCY: no, i told you i wasnt going too
J iS FOR JUiiCY: wat r u doin
JaCk of SpAdeZ 4: eating an icecream cone and watching something on afganistan gold
J iS FOR JUiiCY: lol your pretty cool
J iS FOR JUiiCY: please hold.
JaCk of SpAdeZ 4: Fuck all that holdin
J iS FOR JUiiCY: i had to beat up my brothers
J iS FOR JUiiCY: btw, i have scratches all on my back from the other night
J iS FOR JUiiCY: sooo thanks for that one >:o'
JaCk of SpAdeZ 4: from who
J iS FOR JUiiCY: uhh
J iS FOR JUiiCY: you salim
J iS FOR JUiiCY: andrew
JaCk of SpAdeZ 4: i dont have any finger nails
J iS FOR JUiiCY: when we were fighting out whatever
J iS FOR JUiiCY: well someone fucked my shit up
JaCk of SpAdeZ 4: i bite all my nails off
JaCk of SpAdeZ 4: i rarely have some
J iS FOR JUiiCY: so i heard this really gay rumor abt you
JaCk of SpAdeZ 4: i bet
J iS FOR JUiiCY: no im serious
JaCk of SpAdeZ 4: from who
J iS FOR JUiiCY: it was something like, you didnt wanna be tied down& and you wanted to do your own thing .. and you didnt want me being pressed or something stupid like that ...
JaCk of SpAdeZ 4: Hows that a rumor...
JaCk of SpAdeZ 4: i definitly said... i dont want you getting pressed on me
JaCk of SpAdeZ 4: for some reason... everyone keeps telling me you are
JaCk of SpAdeZ 4: and thats not what i want
J iS FOR JUiiCY: lol
J iS FOR JUiiCY: whose telling yout hat
JaCk of SpAdeZ 4: Try all you're friends
J iS FOR JUiiCY: .....
J iS FOR JUiiCY: how do you figure im "pressed" on you
J iS FOR JUiiCY: i mean, yeah i like you but im not on your dick
JaCk of SpAdeZ 4: well... whatever you wanna hear from kaitie is whatever
JaCk of SpAdeZ 4: i told her what and how i felt
J iS FOR JUiiCY: i wanna hear it from you
J iS FOR JUiiCY: which is why im asking yo8u
J iS FOR JUiiCY: ,,,,,,
JaCk of SpAdeZ 4: I already told you
JaCk of SpAdeZ 4: im doing me, like you're doing you correct
JaCk of SpAdeZ 4: im not playing games i dont play games
JaCk of SpAdeZ 4: i keep my shit straight up
J iS FOR JUiiCY: & ... where does that leave me and you
J iS FOR JUiiCY: nothing,
JaCk of SpAdeZ 4: who said ther ewas a me and you
JaCk of SpAdeZ 4: ?
JaCk of SpAdeZ 4: ??
J iS FOR JUiiCY: your a pretty interesting character.
JaCk of SpAdeZ 4: Thanks
J iS FOR JUiiCY: i mean you say you want one thing , then do another .. and i mean i understand you just get out of jail
J iS FOR JUiiCY: get your fair share of pussy,
JaCk of SpAdeZ 4: you definitly musta thought because we had sex i was your boyfriend
JaCk of SpAdeZ 4: and i wasnt
J iS FOR JUiiCY: np
J iS FOR JUiiCY: nooo
J iS FOR JUiiCY: lol
J iS FOR JUiiCY: i dont have a boyfriend.
JaCk of SpAdeZ 4: you told me u dont want a boyfriend right away
JaCk of SpAdeZ 4: and im keeping it that way
JaCk of SpAdeZ 4: do i have to re read all these letters
J iS FOR JUiiCY: do i?
JaCk of SpAdeZ 4: yeah... and get the exact quotes?
J iS FOR JUiiCY: DO I?
JaCk of SpAdeZ 4: i definitly was talking 2 you in jail
J iS FOR JUiiCY: and you get out& what?
J iS FOR JUiiCY: .. do whatever
JaCk of SpAdeZ 4: you know andrew told me i shoulda told you already
JaCk of SpAdeZ 4: yeah i do whatever i want
J iS FOR JUiiCY: your right ..
JaCk of SpAdeZ 4: I shoulda never had sex with you
J iS FOR JUiiCY: your right
JaCk of SpAdeZ 4: i knew you'd pull this
J iS FOR JUiiCY: what the fuck are you talking about
J iS FOR JUiiCY: i asked you a fuckin question& your thinkin catching feelings and all this shit
J iS FOR JUiiCY: sorry to say that shit was there kinda before we had sex.
J iS FOR JUiiCY: but whatever, '
JaCk of SpAdeZ 4: yeah me catching feelings
J iS FOR JUiiCY: ......?
JaCk of SpAdeZ 4: thats hilarious
JaCk of SpAdeZ 4: maybe i was interested n you while i was in jail
JaCk of SpAdeZ 4: then not seeing you... and some other shit just lost interest?
JaCk of SpAdeZ 4: i dont know... im sorry forwhatever i did but i guess i wasnt right
JaCk of SpAdeZ 4: u definitly were cool... yeah i talked about being in a rleaitionship and all that
JaCk of SpAdeZ 4: no doubt... whatever i failed
J iS FOR JUiiCY: and as a male
J iS FOR JUiiCY: im not gunna put it past you
JaCk of SpAdeZ 4: what do u mean as a male
J iS FOR JUiiCY: AS A DUDE
J iS FOR JUiiCY: SOMEONE WITH A PENIS
JaCk of SpAdeZ 4: You have a penis
JaCk of SpAdeZ 4: I played with a goat today
JaCk of SpAdeZ 4: lol 2 of them actually
JaCk of SpAdeZ 4: they are wild
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